A Renewed Perspective

If you've read my blog for a while, you know that my life was turned upside down in April 2007 and hasn't been the same since. I went from happy-go-lucky "normal" to dealing with lots of grief, a sick parent, a job change, cleaning out my grandparents' house and selling my parents' house (my childhood home), a stressed-out husband and his business. There have been days that I didn't want to get out of bed; I just wanted to hide from the world and pretend that everything is okay. There were many, many days that I said to God, "Why me? What I am supposed to learn from this?" The good thing is that kept talking to God and I still believed that without His grace, mercy and strength I wouldn't make it through each day.

When I was going through all those things at the same time, it was traumatic and unsettling that my life had changed so drastically in a short amount of time. As I look back, I see that God's hand was on me through it all. God never promised us an easy life. What He did promise was His peace: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you..." John 14: 27; His strength: "He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak...but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." Isaiah 40:29, 31; and His Holy Spirit: "And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counselor to be with you forever - the Spirit of truth... He is with you and will be in you." John 14:16-17. God has never left me; in fact, He has carried me an awful lot.

As I have experienced the tension and anxiety of cheerleading tryouts this week, a man I used to work with is experiencing tension and anxiety to a much larger degree... doctors found a tumor behind his daughter's eye. That is frightening news to any parent, but to Gary it must be a horrifying nightmare. You see, Gary lost his wife to cancer in February 2007. In August 2007, his 11-year-old daughter was diagnosed with cancer. After treatment, a tumor was discovered in her back and surgery was needed to remove it. She had just gotten home from the hospital when Gary had a mild heart attack. And Gary is still recovering from that heart attack, less than two weeks after his daughter's surgery to remove the tumor from her back, when he got the news this week about the tumor in her eye.

Gary is a Christian; in fact, he is a minister. So I know that God is carrying him through this especially hard season in his life. And I know that God has His loving arms around Gary's daughter. It's hard to understand why God would allow something like this to happen. It's scary and unfair. But He is with us, no matter how scary or unfair life gets, to comfort us and to give us strength and peace.

I have renewed perspective this week... the world is not our life, and our life is not this world. God needs Leyden in a certain place to fulfill His will. Maybe there is a girl who plans to play basketball who is not a Christian, and God needs Leyden's influence to bring that girl to Him. Or maybe God has placed Leyden in a situation that is not easy for her so she will grow closer to Him. We don't always know what God is doing, so we have to trust Him. We have to trust that He is doing what is best for us, and we have to pray and ask Him to lead us where He wants us to go. The big picture is what matters... eternity is what matters.

I'm sure Gary and his family didn't sign up for the roller coaster ride they've been on the past two years. I know Leyden is disappointed that she didn't make the cheerleading squad. But God knows the "what," the "why," and the "how" of both situations. He is in control. We must let Him lead us, and lean on Him for strength and peace.