Carry Me Safe to Shore

After Daddy died, a song came on KLOVE called "My Lighthouse" and it has meant a lot to me as I've tried to adjust to the "new normal" of life without Daddy. Just the distinct reminder that God is "shining in the darkness" lighting my way and that He will "carry me safe to shore" is a ray of sunshine on the darkest days!

"My Lighthouse" by Rend Collective

In my wrestling and in my doubts
In my failures You won't walk out
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

In the silence, You won't let go
In my questions, Your truth will hold
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

My Lighthouse, my Lighthose
Shining in the darkness, I will follow You
My Lighthouse, my Lighthouse
I will trust the promise,
You will carry me safe to shore
Safe to shore
Safe to shore

I won't fear what tomorrow brings
With each morning I'll rise and sing
My God's love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

Fire before us, You're the brightest
You will lead us through the storms.

Click here to listen to My Lighthouse by Rend Collective.

My Lighthouse

In 2011, I asked Daddy what he wanted for his birthday. He said he wanted pens and pencils and a nice drawing pad so he could draw. Brad, Leyden and I went to the hobby store and bought him a drawing pad and some drawing pens and pencils and gave them to him at his birthday dinner at Red Lobster. 

Daddy was so excited to get his drawing stuff! He couldn't think of what to draw, so he told me he'd draw me a picture and asked what I wanted him to draw for me. I told him a lighthouse, because I collect lighthouses.

Often, when I arrived at Mom and Daddy's for a visit after work, I would find Daddy at the kitchen table working on my lighthouse while Mom cooked dinner. The process was slow, partly because Daddy was so methodical, partly because the dementia made it hard for him to concentrate. 

One day, I went to see him and it seemed to me that the lighthouse was finished. I was so excited, but Daddy said no, it wasn't finished. One day, some new birds appeared in the sky, and a cute little boat floating on the water. I would frequently ask if he was finished, and always he said, "Not yet." 

He stopped working on the lighthouse, because the nasty dementia robbed him of any interest in most of his hobbies. Around my birthday and Christmas, I would hint that I would just LOVE for him to frame the lighthouse picture and give it to me for my gift. He always said, "It's not finished yet."

When Daddy died, I searched Mom's house for the lighthouse. I looked everywhere I knew to look, but no lighthouse. I was disappointed that I couldn't find it. One evening, as I was leaving Mom's house, Aunt Pat yelled for me to wait. "We found the lighthouse!" she called out. I was so happy! For that moment, it felt like my Daddy was looking out for me, reminding me that his unconditional love for me will exist on earth as long as I have breath.

The lighthouse was still in the drawing pad, and I took it home and it sat in a pile of photo albums. I had every intention to frame it, but other things took priority.

Two months later, Brad asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day, and I told him that more than anything, I wanted my lighthouse picture to be matted and framed. So, on the Saturday before Mother's Day, Brad and I went to Hobby Lobby and I picked out the mat and frame that I wanted for my beloved drawing.

It turned out beautifully!

I was a little upset that Daddy never signed it, but I decided that I could get my friend, Mr. Montgomery, to make a brass plate to put at the bottom. Sweet Mr. Montgomery asked me to send him one of Daddy's drawings that he signed, and he is going to scan the image and engrave Daddy's "signature" on the plate! I can't wait to see the finished product. Such a special way to honor the sweet memory of my Daddy!

My Hope Endures

I'm recycling something I wrote on March 13, 2012. It was published on my Facebook page as a Note. I think it has a good message, and I doubt everyone who reads this blog has seen it, so I think it is worthy of recycling. Enjoy!

My Hope Endures

 

I've been going through a couple of valleys lately, and it seems like just when I think I'm climbing back up the mountain, it turns out to be just a small ridge into the next valley. The Lord has been speaking to me about not giving up, and having hope. I want to share with you what God's been showing me.

 

Yesterday, God showed me this verse: "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Wow! I've heard this verse throughout my life, and I know that God has a plan for my life and that He only wants good for me, but in God's miraculous way, He used this verse I've had memorized since childhood to shake me and make me listen to what He is saying at this moment. God has plans for me. God has plans for ME! And not only that, His plans are GREAT plans, wonderful plans that will make me SUCCESSFUL! So, while the devil tries to make me think that I am a failure as a parent, as a wife, and as a daughter, I am NOT. I am NOT a failure, because GOD'S PLAN is to make me a successful parent, wife, and daughter. Take THAT, devil!

God also showed me this verse yesterday: "I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe."  ~ Ephesians 1:18-19

Wow again! God wants me to know the hope to which He has called me... including His incomparably great power.  Boy, do I need God's incomparably great power in my life at this moment! The issues that I'm facing seem impossible and there seems to be no hope. I'm worn out and worn down and can't see a solution. However, my Father has the POWER to move mountains! How easily I forget how powerful my God is! Not only does God have the POWER, He also has the PLAN! Hallelujah!!!

Today, God sent me a little more encouragement: "Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed." ~ Psalm 119:116

Did you hear that? "...do not let my hopes be dashed." Don't give up on your dreams, your hopes, your heart's desires! Give them to Jesus. Jesus will make you successful! Whatever you do, DON'T GIVE UP!

This song just played on my iPod, and it was like God was using Natalie Grant's voice to sing it to me right at that moment.  

"Our Hope Endures"

You would think only so much can go wrong

Calamity only strikes once

And you assume that this one has suffered her share

Life will be kinder from here 

Oh, but sometimes the sun stays hidden for years

Sometimes the sky rains night after night

When will it clear?

But our hope endures the worst of conditions

It's more than our optimism

Let the earth quake, our hope is unchanged

How do we comprehend peace within pain

Or joy at a good man's wake? 

Walk a mile with a woman whose body is torn

With illness, but she marches on

Oh, 'cause sometimes the sun stays hidden for years

Sometimes the sky rains night after night

When will it clear?

But our hope endures the worst of conditions

It's more than our optimism

Let the earth quake, our hope is unchanged

Emmanuel, God is with us

El Shaddai, all sufficient

Emmanuel, God is with us

El Shaddai, all sufficient

Emmanuel, God is with us

El Shaddai, all sufficient

We never walk alone

And this is our hope

Our hope endures the worst of conditions

It's more than our optimism

Let the earth quake, let the earth quake

Let the earth quake, our hope is unchanged.

~as written by Natalie Grant and Christa Wells

My hope does endure... because I have Jesus! I have a Friend like no other, Someone wtih power and a plan to make me successful AGAINST ALL ODDS! And, like the icing on the cake, He is ALWAYS WITH ME! I will NEVER EVER walk alone! Do you realize how absolutely WONDERFUL this is? To someone who is standing at the edge of yet another valley, these words are an oasis. These words are refreshing! These words quench the doubt and despair of the soul! And the best part? God's hope is FREE!

(c) 2012 K. LaVera Hill. All rights reserved.