A Poem

This is a poem I wrote when my Uncle Stanley was near death. It was a sad time. It is interesting how my perspective changed when Daddy died. My Daddy's steadfast courage in the face of death somehow made it a little easier to let go, and I became more accepting of growing old; the promise of heaven seems so much sweeter.


Death is all around me...

The people I've known all my life,
The strong men I've always depended on,
Are slowly fading away,
Breath by breath...

Change is hard.
I don't want to face the reality of life...
I want these dear loved ones to stay with me forever...
I don't want to get old...
I want to stay young, and I want them to stay young, too...

Hospice, labored breathing, keep him comfortable...
Words I don't want to hear.
Family gathering from near and far,
Hovering, watching, waiting...

Heartbeats grow weaker,
Eyes grow heavier,
Breaths get slower...

(c) 2010 K. LaVera Hill. All rights reserved.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

God is faithful. What does that really mean? To me, it means that I can depend on God. He is always there, never leaving me, never forsaking me. I can count on Him to get me through whatever life brings, whether sickness, health, sadness or happiness. He is always there, and sometimes He even carries me.

When I sent the email on April 9, 2014 about the recent developments with Leyden's arthritis, my cousin, Saratha, replied and sent me the following scripture:

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

What a great reminder of God's faithfulness! His love surrounds us and protects us, and his mercies are new every morning, so we get a fresh start each day! No matter what happens today, we get to start all over tomorrow, with a fresh dose of compassion from God. It just doesn't get any better than that, y'all!

The verse, of course, reminded me of one of my favorite hymns, Great is Thy Faithfulness (performed by Selah). I hope it blesses you as much as it does me!

Message In a Bottle- Uh, Facebook Post

God has always used creative ways to speak to His children. Remember Moses and the burning bush in Exodus 3? Jacob's dream in Genesis 28? Well, in today's world, God still uses lots of creativity to get our attention. Here lately, God has used Facebook (of all things!) to speak to me...

While Daddy was in the hospital, I was scrolling through Facebook and came across a link to a great article/devotion by Anne Graham Lotz called Resting in the Will of God. This devotion played a role in helping me obtain the peace that I had during Daddy's illness and death. It was uncanny how it addressed the very circumstances I was up against as my Daddy lay in a hospital bed in Critical Care. I didn't have a lot of time, so I didn't read all of the scripture references and answer all of the questions, but I read enough to get the encouragement I needed to continue to seek peace from the Holy Spirit.

The last couple of lines of the devotion read, "... like Habakkuk, I will rejoice in the Lord as I let go of what I want, when I want it, how I want it, and I lie down in the arms of my heavenly Father. Turning the thought around, when Jesus prayed from the cross, 'Father, into Your hands I commit My Spirit' (Luke 23:46), that's what He did - He lay down in the arms of His heavenly Father." These two sentences gave me a great visual of how to lay my situation in Jesus' hands. And they offered affirmation that I was doing the right thing trusting God to take care of my Daddy.

Thank you, Lord, for that timely message! 

Another time that I believe God used Facebook as a means to communicate with me was on March 19, 2014. My Daddy had been in heaven for a week, and I was still in a fog, just trying to take care of all of my responsibilities without letting anything fall through the cracks. My husband's business gets "crazy busy" in March, and I didn't want to bother him with my grief, and - to be honest - I was so busy myself that I didn't really have time to grieve. Scrolling through Facebook, I came across a link to an article called Jesus Mourns With You by Suzie Fuller. This article portrays Jesus as a "safe place" to mourn for loved ones. Just what I needed to hear!
There is a prayer at the end of the article that says, "Loving Savior, who promises never to leave me or forsake me, who understands the weight I've carried, today I invite You to weep with me. I feel joy that I can come to You with open hands to receive renewed life in the midst of my grief. In Jesus' name, Amen."

So now, when the tears begin to fall, I call on Jesus to weep with me. I know I'm in a "safe place" with Jesus, and I can grieve all I need. He has never failed me, and He is always there. "Praise the Lord! He is good. God's love never fails." Psalm 136:1

Egyptians in the Rearview

So, life is throwing us curveballs. (Imagine that! God never promised us an easy life, but He promised that He will be with us no matter what we face in life! As the Bible says in Joshua 1:5, "No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." Thank you, Lord!)

I sent an email today to my faithful family and friends who have prayed us up on Leyden's long journey with arthritis:

Leyden went to the doctor last week with severe stomach pain and was diagnosed with inflammation of the stomach lining, which can be caused by rheumatoid arthritis (RA). Her pediatrician prescribed Prilosec every morning for a month, and if she isn’t better in a week, we are supposed to go back to the doctor. After the first month of treatment, if Leyden is still having pain, the doctor said she’ll see Leyden again and probably prescribe Prilosec for three more months. Leyden is having trouble eating, because the pain has returned in her jaw. Now she can’t take ibuprofen or have caffeine, spicy foods or acidic foods. It’s making meal time a little more complicated, and so far Leyden hasn’t gotten much relief from the pain. Leyden is miserable.

We went to see the pediatric rheumatologist yesterday for a checkup and Leyden had an MRI of her jaw. The doctor was unconcerned about her stomach, which is unsettling to us because Leyden is in such pain, and we are afraid her RA medicine isn’t working. This morning, the doctor’s office called and said that the arthritis is active in Leyden’s left TMJ again, and for the first time, active arthritis has appeared in her right TMJ. The doctor recommended Remicade injections to both jaws. (Remicade is a biologic drug that is typically administered by infusion through an IV.) We know children who have had serious adverse effects from this particular treatment, so I am seeking a second opinion due to the risks of injecting this drug directly into a joint.

When Leyden’s orthodontist first told me two years ago that he believed that her TMJ issues were caused Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, I prayed and gave it all to God. I did the same today when the nurse called me with the doctor’s recommendations, because honestly, I can’t handle this on my own. As impossible as it seems, God loves Leyden more than I do, and I know He will direct us to the proper course of treatment. I have put my trust in God more in the last three months than I have in my entire life, and He hasn’t let me down. He has been with me every step of the way, often carrying me as the “Footprints” poem describes. I know He’s got this covered.

This verse has been a mainstay in my life lately: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NIV). I hold tight to that promise!

Please pray with us for guidance as we seek a second opinion and decide how to proceed with Leyden’s treatment. We appreciate you!!!

Well, remember my friend, Cathy Sue, who told me to seek peace from God? She came to the rescue again. She replied to my email and said:

There is another passage of scripture (one of my favs) that came to mind after I read your post...

It's Exodus 14:10-14 ...the Israelites have left Egypt and just reached the Red Sea (hadn't crossed yet). They looked behind them and saw that the Egyptian army was barrelling down on them. It 'appeared' as though they were trapped, BUT GOD... :)

 

^“10 When Pharaoh drew near, the people of Israel lifted up their eyes, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they feared greatly. And the people of Israel cried out to the Lord. ¹¹ They said to Moses, “Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? ¹² Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: ‘Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.” ¹³ And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. ¹⁴ The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”

I especially love that last line!!!

God will make a way where there seems to be no way, sister!

AMEN!!! I am just so thankful that I know Jesus! I can't imagine how someone could travel the road I'm traveling and not have Jesus to carry them. Just when I think I may buckle from the earthly pressures I face, God sends a message to remind me just how BIG He is, and just how much He loves His children! God has surrounded me by AMAZING family and friends who have supplied encouragement, prayers, scripture, food, cards, calls, and love at just the right time. Every. Single. Time!

So, I'm looking ahead at the salvation of MY LORD, and I'm NOT LOOKING BACK at those Egyptians in my rearview mirror!!!

Wedding Bells Are Ringin'!

My cousin, Emily, is getting married today! Her fiance, Kevin, is a wonderful guy, and they are an adorable couple. I am SO excited for them to begin this journey together! One of the biggest blessings in my life is my marriage to Brad. There is nothing like coming home to my best friend every day, and I am happy that Emily will know that feeling!

In honor of Emily and Kevin's union, I'm posting my Top 10 Tips for a Happy Marriage (in no particular order).

1. You weren't raised in the same household, so you may be accustomed to different traditions. If you can't agree on whose traditions to follow, create your own!

2. Men can't read minds; tell them what you want them to know (or at least write them a note).

3. Whether a woman is angry, sad, or happy, a hug is ALWAYS appropriate.

4. When your spouse cooks, clean up the kitchen after the meal.

5. Don't think of chores in terms of whether it is a "man's chore" or a "woman's chore". If you see something that needs attention, take care of it. Your spouse will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

6. Always show respect to your spouse, ESPECIALLY when other people are around. 

7. Make plans each week to spend time together doing something you both enjoy.

8. Never lie to your spouse, even if you think protecting them from the truth is a good idea.

9. Forgive your spouse (and yourself!), no matter what. It won't be easy, but it's so much better than letting unforgiveness put a wedge between you.

10. Laugh together. Laughter is good medicine, and it heals all kinds of hurts.

My Mailbox Runneth Over

On March 14, 2014, I pulled up to my mailbox in my car and rolled down my window. When I opened the mailbox, a whole lot of love spilled out as tons of cards literally fell into my lap. It was such a blessing during such a sad time! It was like all those people had reached out through my mailbox to give me a hug!

That wasn't the last time the mailbox was filled with cards. Every day, I still get at least one card, but some days, there are many. I'm surrounded by wonderful people! God has blessed me richly!

"A friend loves at all times..." Proverbs 17:17

The Writing on the Wall

Sometimes God speaks to us through messages. Remember Daniel 5, when God literally wrote a message on a wall? King Belshazzar was having a wonderful party, with lots of wine and merriment and lots of dishonor toward God.

All of a sudden, a hand appeared from thin air and wrote a message on the wall. The king was terrified. He offered some cool clothes and jewelry and a nice place of power in his kingdom to the person who could tell him what the writing meant. None of the wise men of Babylon could understand the writing, and King Belshazzar grew more afraid. Finally, the queen suggested that the king call for Daniel.

When Daniel arrived, the king offered him the cool clothes and jewelry and the place of power in his kingdom, but Daniel told the king he could keep his stuff. He made it clear that he was simply there to read the writing on the wall and interpret it for the king.

And so, Daniel proceeded to tell the king that he hadn't humbled himself before God, even though he knew that King Nebuchadnezzer was ousted from the throne for the very same thing. King Belshazzar did not honor God, so God sent a hand to write a message on the wall.

Daniel explained to the king that the message said that God had numbered the days of the reign of King Belshazzar and that his reign was over. He had been found wanting, and his kingdom was divided and given to two other kingdoms.

Belshazzar was slain and Darius the Mede began his reign over the kingdom.

So, God sent hands to write on walls in the Old Testament when He wanted to send a message to someone. What does He do now? I think sometimes he still writes on walls, but maybe not with an acutal hand...

The Tuesday after Daddy's funeral, Mom and I went to Pigeon Forge for a few days to rest in the peace and quiet. We walked into our condo, and one of the first things we saw was a wooden sign hanging on the wall that said, "Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think!" 

Just what we needed to hear! I just love it when God sends us special "love notes" when we need some encouragement!

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9